Why not?
by Daisukeismyboyfriend
Summary: A Fax drabbly series. Some are crackish, some have tonnes of fluff, all are fancy. Rated T because I rate things T. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

My first attempt at writing a really good random-ish Fax drabbles series, actually my first attempt at writing a Max Ride story. I was listening to Death Cab for Cutie while writing this… Their music makes me happy/sad. Anyways, enjoy!

-m-a-y-b-e-c-u-c-u-m-b-e-r-s-t-a-s-t-e-b-e-t-t-e-r-p-i-c-k-l-e-d-

The worst thing about being a human-avian hybrid isn't the wings, or the fact that you stick out like a sore thumb in most situations, or that you have hyperacute senses that go insane whenever any adrenaline gets siphoned into your system. .

It's the fact that you have no idea how to eat sushi except with your bare hands…

"Dammit! It escaped again!!"

---

_The glove compartment_

_Isn't accurately named_

_And everybody knows it_

It was as if it was a dream- Fang sitting next to me around the fire, the slow crackling lulling me to rest my head against his collarbone, his arms encircling me.

_So I'm proposing _

_a swift, orderly change_

The dream continued. I didn't know why he was doing this, but it must have been for some alterior motive…right…?

_For behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm_

_And all I find are souvenirs from better times_

Now Fang was leaning down, his eyes sparkling darkly in the firelight.

_Before the gleam _

_Of your taillights fading East_

I didn't know what I wanted. Should I really let him-?

_To find_

_Yourself a better life_

And his lips touched mine, and soon I was kissing him back, breathing in his scent, trying to remember who I was, my personality eclipsed in the kiss, in our love, in his arms holding me close.

_I was searching _

_For some legal document _

He pulled away, slowly, gently, and I was content to just be held close to him, the warmth of the fire and his body heat combining to soothe my aching muscles.

_As the rain beat down on the hood_

_When I stumbled upon_

_Pictures I tried to forget_

"Why…?" I asked, but he cut off my question with another kiss, this one more pressing than the first.

_And that's how this idea got drilled into my head_

_Cause it's too important to stay the way it's been_

And so I relaxed into his embrace, and the world seemed to stop still for a moment.

Nudge and Gazzy fainted away across the fire.

---

"Max?"

"Yes, Angel?"

"Your momma's a tomato!"

"…"

"OHHH SNAP!!!"

"…"

"Max?!"

"Um…how much sugar have you been eating lately?"

"Too much."

"I didn't ask for a certain blind kid's opinion…"

"_Be_ like that. Gosh. Come on, Gazzy. Let's go make out."

"Woo!"

"No! Guys! Stop!!!!"

"…"

"Oh, great."

"Faaaannnggggg!!!"

"What, Nudge?"

"Hug me."

"Um…why?"

"Because human-avian contact is good for people's well-being, and if you aren't hugged or anything before, like, the first year of your life, you become, like, emo. And that's, like, really bad. And then we'd all have to get our, like, noses pierced."

"My ears…they bleed…"

"Give me a hug and I'll shut up."

"HUGGING!"

"Yay."

---

Review?

-blake


	2. Dos

The 2nd chapter.

I got the first drabble from going to the movies with a bunch of my friends, one of them being a guy that my other friend has a crush on …Anyways, the idea struck me like a…striking…thing… and here it is.

I can't believe it.

I'm falling in love with Fang.

I don't know how, I don't know why, and I don't know when this started.

And it's really starting to scare me.

How he flies, how he looks at me with the barest ghost of a smile on his lips, his glittering ebony eyes, his dark, almost purple wings floating on the breeze, his strength, his…his…

Gaah, listen to me. I sound like a frickin' fangirl.

But maybe I am one.

Fang…I dream of his name. I try to think up a last name for him, sometimes, to have something we might share…

I can never find a suitable one. He's beyond description, he's perfect, he's goddamned _gorgeous_…

I'm just glad he can't read minds…

---

"Hey, Angel?"

"What?"

"Can you read Max's mind for me?"

"Sure."

"…"

"So?"

"She's wondering if Iggy found the gunpowder hidden in the pantry, she's worried about what Nudge's doing on the Internet, she's afraid of what'll happen if Gazzy eats too much asparagus…and she…Oh." Angel's cherubic face turned a bright red.

"What?"

"She's thinking about…making out…with…you."

"Oh."

---

Enter the Nudge Files.

"So, I was on, like, the Internet? And I, like, found this website, all about, like, things people had, like, swallowed, and had, like, stayed in their body, for like, their whole life. And this one guy, he, like, swallowed a bowling ball, like, somehow, and he, like, was constipated for, like, the rest of his life."

"How interesting. Continue…"

"Is that, like, sarcasm? Cause sarcasm is really bad for, like, people my age. It, like, stunts your growth or something. Do you have any gum?"

"What?"

"I love Juicy Fruit. It's, like, so…fruity. Well, that's probably the reason, like, they called it Juicy Fruit. I really don't like cinnamony gum, it, like, sucks."

"Uh, go on with that tangent."

"What the hell's a tangent? Is it, like, some rare animal? Like an ocelot? I really like ocelots. They're, like, so pretty!"

---

Gazzy looked up from his half-made Molotov cocktail. "Hey, Ig?"

"What?" answered the blind teen, toying expertly with a timer.

"You know where Fang and Max are?"

"Probably doing something important."

Something important indeed…Max and Fang were currently making out, much to Angel's chagrin.

"Hey, Nudge?"

"Hn."

"Guess what Max and Fang are doing!!! I'll give you three guesses!"

"Guess one- they're reading some big thick book."

"Wrong."

"Guess two- they're sharing a cutesy goober moment."

"Hm…wrong. More specific."

"IT _IS_ A CUTESY GOOBER MOMENT!?! GAAAAZZZZZYYYYYYY!!!!!!"

The Gasman ran through the door, not bothering to open it, and crashed right into Nudge, making them fall into a rather large, awkward-looking heap at Angel's feet. They both blushed scarlet.

"Ha. Your thoughts are really, really good blackmail material…"

"SHUT UP!" the two chorused. Which sent them into more blushing hysterics.

---

Review?

I know there aren't a lot of Nudge/Gazzy fics out there, but hey, seems like a pretty good pairing.


	3. Tres

**Why Not?...chapter three. Alrighty then, let's get this show on the road…but first, a word from the authoress…**

**Thanks for the reviews, everyone! I got some, though, that complained of confusion.**

**Do not despair, my chickadees! (stunned silence)**

**I mean…it won't be confusing any longer, for I will use little parenthesed character labels! Now everyone will know that it's not Gazzy, it's Iggy talking about something he shouldn't be talking about.**

**Thanks for your patience.**

-b-o-h-e-m-i-a-n-r-h-a-p-s-o-d-y-

Fang stretched slowly, leaning back as far as he could without breaking a bone. He came back up, only to smack straight into Nudge's smiling gob.

"Fangfangfangfang FAAAANNGGGG!!!" she squealed, grabbing his arm and hauling him through the open door.

"What?" he asked irritably. He only could tolerate so many insane Nudge attacks, and this one was the fifth for the week.

"I can't tell you what's going on," she answered, plopping him down into a chair and tying his wrists to the armrests, "because it's a _secret_."

"Oh, really…" said Fang, now getting annoyed.

Suddenly a crash sounded from behind a door, and a voice that Fang quickly recognized as Max's said, "Crap, the beans!"

He looked back at Nudge. "You're not really going to force me to…"

"…Eat my food?" answered Max, coming through the door with a steaming plate of spicy red stuff. "You're the lucky vic-I mean, lucky winner!" She placed the plate in front of him with a flourish. "Bon appetit!"

"I'd like to know what I'm eating before I eat it." (Fang)

"Fine. It's chili." (Max.)

Fang hesitantly took a spoonful of the reddish mush, chewed, swallowed, and belched. "'Scuse me."

"So?! Are you dead?! Did Max's cooking finally claim a wretched victim?!" asked Gazzy, his blonde hair wisping around.

"I'm not dead. It was actually kinda good."

Max's face lit up.

-i-s-w-i-m-w-i-t-h-t-h-e-t-u-r-t-l-e-s-

Iggy sighed.

He was bored.

Again.

So what happens when Iggy's bored?

Stuff blows up.

Usually, the stuff that blows up is very…expensive.

Like Max's favorite pair of non-Salvation-Army cargo pants.

And Fang's first _real_ leather jacket.

And Nudge's clock radio.

Well, not so much the clock radio.

Iggy stood up, ran into the wall, cursed, turned around, and ran into another wall.

It was then that he realized he'd locked himself in a closet the previous night, to give Max and Fang "some privacy" as they "made out".

He finally found the lock, and his nimble fingers easily opened the catch.

"DETERIORATING!!!" yelled Nudge's voice from halfway across the house.

"WTF?" said Fang.

Iggy found a length of wire, took some C4 out of his pants pocket (Don't ask me why he had a dangerous explosive in his pants pocket. Iggy's loaded with explosive stuff. I don't know how he gets it all…) and wired a quick bomb.

He threw the C4 out of the window and hung on to the wire.

All it took was a simple push of a button and a quick throw…

BOOOOM.

"What the hell?" came Max's frazzled voice from her room.

"What?!" yelled Fang, also in Max's room.

"It was Iggy," said Angel smugly.

Iggy took the liberty of helping himself to some more wire, then felt his way back to the closet and locked himself back in.

"Well, I'm not bored anymore…"

-k-i-l-l-i-n-g-t-i-m-e-

"Bumblebees." (Nudge)

"Your face." (Gazzy)

"Your mom's face."

"You suck, you know that?"

"Break it up, small children." (Fang)

"Oh, Fang…I love you!!" (Max)

"W00t!!!eleven!!!11!!! Let's go have a clichéd make-out scene!!"

"(stunned silence)…"

"Gaaaaaaazzzyyyyyyyy…." (Angel)

"What, Angel?"

"Po, po, po…po….potato! Potato!"

"That's nice."(Iggy)

"My…baloney has a first name, it's I-g-g-i-e…"

"That's not how you spell it."

"I don't care…My baloney has a second name, it's s-u-c-k-s…"

"Damn you."

"(gasp) THE PROFANITY!!!! OH, THE PROFANITY!!!!"

"PROFANITY!!!eleven!!!!"

"Shut up, wee ones."

"Yeah. We're trying to make out here."

---

Review?


	4. Quatro

Why Not?

Chapter…um…I keep forgetting the chapter numbers. So this shall be designated

"The Chapter that Lived."

Woo.

Gazzy knew that something was up when Fang, Max, and Iggy got in a taxi without fighting. But as they rolled off, Angel crept up to him and whispered in his ear, "They're going clubbing. Let's make a mess."

Oh, Gazzy could make more than a mess. He grinned. Much, much more.

---

"_**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**_

"STOP SCREAMING BEFORE YOU PASS OUT ON THE GROUND!!!"

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"Max."

"AAHHHHH!!!!!"

"Shut up."

"AAAAAaaaah…okay."

"Gazzy, you're in the most trouble you ever will be in your entire life, unless you rob some bank."

"But all I did was blow up the old cabin!"

"WITH (sob sob) MY FAVORITE JEANS!!!"

"Oh, it wasn't just your jeans. I used your shoes, your shirts, a bra, some socks, a couple other pairs of jeans, Fang's cargo pants, some boxers, Iggy's only pair of shorts, your panties, and…oh yeah, your towel. Sorry."

"…"

"I am going to wring your skinny little neck."

And so chaos resumed in the Ride household, not that there ever really _was_ a Ride household.

---

"Faaaaaaaaannnnggggggggggg!!!" yelled Nudge, poking the mentioned dark-haired "angel" repeatedly in the arm. "Comeoncomeoncomeooooonnnnnn!!!"

"Nnng." he replied stonily, focused on the task at hand. Which was trying to unkink a Slinky.

"Look, Fang, you've been doing that for _three hours _now, can't you stop?!"

"Three hours isn't that long of a time."

Nudge sighed in exasperation. "FINE! I'm giving you _one more hour_, okay?!"

"Nnng."

She stomped out as Max came out from the closet. "Jeez," she remarked, running a hand through her hair. "She's one impatient sucker."

"Where'd we leave off?" was all Fang asked.

---

_**Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Ooohhhooohohohooo!!!**_

_What._

_**That was…hilarious…**_

_Hey, what happened to all your Zen wisdom stuff, Voice?_

_**Call me Jeb.**_

_Ugh, Jeb. Okay. So…?_

_**Basically I ran out of Zen-y stuff to say. It gets kinda old, honestly.**_

_Still doesn't explain why you were laughing like an idiot on crack._

_**I take offense to that.**_

_Uhhhh…_

_**Well, something funny just happened. **_

_Where?_

_**There.**_

_Wait…you weren't watching, were you?_

_**Nice technique, by the way.**_

_NOOO!! You _were_ watching! DAMN YOUUUUUU!!!!!_

Max quaked in anger as she watched the banana peel on the ground. Damn banana peels.

---


End file.
